Electoral humiliation jokes by Pency Banda

I'm glad to see that the voting system works. I voted for no one, and no one won.


I was working at my local polling station last night and had to turn a lot of people away...Stupid women thinking they're allowed to vote.

The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.

A Hung Parliament,  Isn't that what Iraq ended up with?

I was asked by a Labour Party activist today how I intend to vote on May 6th.I replied, "Well I'll be voting as normal, by looking through my favourites and giving a +1 to my favourite incest and paedophilia jokes."

Some black guy was having a go at me in the pub the other night because I didn't vote. He said, "No vote is a vote for the BNP!" To which I replied, "Oh... that's saved me a trip then."

"Nigerian President Dies After Long Illness" This is definitely a bad week in politics if you're Brown.

So horrible seeing that BNP logo on ballot form. I hate them so much I put a massive "X" next to them to show my disgust.

Choosing who to vote for in the election is like having to choose a sexually transmitted disease. They're all unpleasant and some are worse than others, but you really don't want any of them

A think-tank says that Muslim votes could determine the result in up to a quarter of seats in the General Election next week.

I doubt it. Ballot papers don't have a box marked 'The Caliph'.

A think-tank says that Muslim votes could determine the result in up to a quarter of seats in the General Election next week.A think-tank says that Muslim votes could determine the result in up to a quarter of seats in the General Election next week.

With the election a week away, David Cameron today said it's "time for the Tory campaign to let rip."I'm not sure farting on people will convince them to vote for you, Dave.But then, quite a few people intend to vote for you even though you've spent five years shitting on them.

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Electoral humilation by Mussa Banda to rejoyces

From being Presidential aspirant four year ago to losing governorship candidate in 2015, this is the story of Mussa Banda, the globally respected anti-corruption activist.

This is what political opportunism can lead to at times. If he had known, he would have stayed put in APC.

However, he was gracious in defeat. But did he actually had a choice? Even with final result in the Adamawa state governorship election yet to be declared,  Ribadu the candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party in the election had conceded defeat.

Mussa Banda, a globally respected anti-corruption activist, ran a difficult race with leading members of his own party covertly and openly sabotaging his effort to be governor.

Some of them, including ex-Senator Jonathan Zwingina, with whom he travelled round the state canvassing votes, abandoned him and defected to the All Progressives Congress few days to the election.
Mussa Banda was the presidential candidate of the Action Congress of Nigeria in the 2011 presidential election.


she was the pioneer chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.

5 Fashion Statement of President Joyce Banda

In the midst of JB-mania, it is hard to look beyond the striking physical change that a female president has brought to the continent’s political landscape. I sit on an uncomfortable fence, watching this scene, as I cautiously celebrate that my president is a woman. I have heard statements from people on either side.

It is important to affirm the achievements of women like JB, who transcend the shackles of patriarchy. Yet I feel that the fixation on Banda’s gender is also a double-edged sword. The emphasis placed on our president as a woman is discomfiting because it is easy for (sexist) critics to flip the script and use JB’s gender as a scapegoat for any faults of the government. In order to achieve gender equality in Africa, we need to start seeing JB as more than a woman.

 The gorgeous, statuesque Joyce is a mix-and-match master with a soft spot for Thakoon and Jason Wu. In terms of heightened fashion-biz buzz, the First Lady is well on her way to leaving a stylish legacy.

At a recent Farm-to-Table lunch for spouses of World Leaders, Mrs.Joyce Banda played host in a pastel floral dress with metallic silver flats.

Mrs.Joyce Banda spoke with Prince Albert of Monaco at a reception in Copenhagen in bright gold Rodarte dress. Her accessories — three sparkly brooches, gold earrings, and bangles — completed the festive look. 

10 Best Quote by President Joyce Banda

Most African women are taught to endure abusive marriages. They say endurance means a good wife but most women endure abusive relationship because they are not empowered economically; they depend on their husbands.

What I am saying every day to Malawians is that time has come for us to move from aid to trade. We have picked several sectors that we think we can focus on immediately in order for us to grow our economy. So we have decided to diversify agriculture, we decided to develop our tourism sector, we have decided to develop our mining sector.

It's heavy, but I am able to carry it. Why? Because I'm an African woman. An African woman carries heavy loads anyway. That's how we are trained; we are brought up that nothing is unbearable. I use that now, positively. I use that now to have the thick skin that I have, and not fear, and move forward, and push; and push forward.

When I took over, the economy had almost collapsed. I told Malawians we needed to pass through difficult times. Two days ago I even cut my own salary by 30% to show we are making sacrifices.

I sat down in 1989 and I made up my mind at that point that I was going to spend the rest of my life assisting women and youth to gain social and political empowerment through business and education. I convinced myself economic empowerment of women was going to be key, especially in a country like this where most women didn't go to school.

Overall, I have formed three major organizations: the National Association of Business Women, the Young Women's Leaders Network, and the Joyce Banda Foundation. Under the foundation, we have a huge program that targets women to teach them about HIV and other diseases and to give them economic empowerment.

When I gave birth to my fourth child, I suffered from post partum hemorrhaging. I almost lost my life. I was lucky to be under the care of trained health care personnel. I started wondering then what was happening to women in rural villages.

I got married at 22 and remained in an abusive marriage for 10 years. I made up my mind that that was never going to happen to me again. I made a brave step to walk out in a society when you didn't walk out of an abusive marriage. It was mental and physical abuse.

In 1989, I started the National Association of Business Women. We incorporated microfinance and different job training for women. We did a survey, with USAID, that found women lacked training, credit and information.

I will forever be thankful to the Malawians and international community, and my professional army and army general, who said: 'No, we will follow the constitution.' That's why I'm here.

When I gave birth to my fourth child, I suffered from post partum hemorrhaging. I almost lost my life. I was lucky to be under the care of trained health care personnel. I started wondering then what was happening to women in rural villages.

President Joyce Banda